Book Discussion: Why We Can't Sleep

Book Discussion:  Why We Can't Sleep

Wednesday, December 4, 2024
2:00 PM Eastern / 11:00 AM Pacific

WHY WE CAN’T SLEEP Book Discussion

Are you struggling?  Do you sneak your suffering in around the edges of work and caretaking?  Have you had a what the hell have I done with my life and who am I sort of freak out?  No matter how depressed or exhausted you are, do you apologize for “whining” but also describe yourself as lucky?  We shouldn’t feel bad, so WHY DO WE?

 Measures of subjective well-being indicate that women’s happiness has declined both absolutely and relative to men.  We went into the workforce, but without any significant change to gender roles at home, to paid-leave laws, or anything else that could make that shift feasible.

 THERE IS A WAY OUT: Facing up to our lives as they really are, letting go of the expectations we had for ourselves growing up, and finishes with finding a viable support system and realizing that this stage of life doesn’t last forever.

 DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. Do you agree with Calhoun that the culture has routinely pitted women against one another—for example, those with children versus those without?
2. Was there a statistic that you found especially telling? Perhaps the one about how only one in four women of this generation is likely to out-earn her father? Or the fact that one in four women this age is on anti-depressants?
3. Do you agree with Calhoun that women have been raised with an unrealistic “having it all” expectations? And do you agree with the quoted women who say they feel that they were “sold a bill of goods”?
4. Many women interviewed reported they were lucky and had no right to complain. These women often said this even if they were running themselves ragged caring for others, making the money for the household, and doing most of the housework. She argues that women in crisis often don’t give themselves permission to, say, get a sportscar, but rather fit their breakdowns in around the rest of their lives. Do you agree?

Facilitators
Sara Munds, University of Illinois - Springfield
Kim Pfeffer, Emory University

Why We Can't Sleep by Ada Calhoun is available online at new and used book sites, your favorite bookstore, and your local library.